A Summer of Changing Dreams
by auzziewitch
Summary: The most unpredictable, unplanned and unexpected event can change everything. VD, OS. I suck at summaries, better within. Please RR. COMPLETE!
1. Prologue

_Okay, so this is my first attempt at a She's the Man fanfic. I hope you guys like it. And j__ust a note, in this Chapter, the lines in Italics are flashbacks, whilst normal text is what's happening now. Just to avoid confusion._

**_Title:_ A Summer of Changing Dreams  
_Rating:_ MA, for explicit content in some chapters  
_Disclaimer:_ I don't own _She's the Man, _the story, characters or anything else.**

**_Summary:_ During the summer between the completion of Senior Year, and the beginning of College, Viola is forced to re-evaluate her wants and dreams, as an unplanned even changes everything she ever thought she wanted.**

**----**

**Prologue**

_Viola was dribbling the ball between herself and Duke, maintaining her focus on keeping it away from the Cornwall team. She spotted Duke moving sideways away from her and passed it hard out in front of him. He continued running with the ball at his feet, sliding to avoid the tackle from an opponent, passing the ball to Lyle, one of the other forwards, who, after a few quick steps booted the ball under Justin's falling body, past him and into the net. The entire team jumped up and down excitedly, fully aware that their 2 – nil lead could not be changed with only two and a half minutes left on the clock._

_Viola screamed as she and Toby hit Lyle, who was taking a bow in front of the stands. Then she felt Duke's arms around her waist, nuzzling her neck, before completing the traditional team celebrations by congratulating Lyle._

Viola was shocked. It was too soon for this to be happening.

_As the final whistle sounded the entire red Illyrian team raced onto the field celebrating their grand final win. _

_The sound from the stands was deafening, and it didn't take long for Viola to notice Sebastian and Olivia amongst the celebrating team. As Sebastian hugged her, she watched as Olivia passed on her congratulations to Duke, Toby and Andrew, before beginning to dance and generally 'party' with a couple of other girls as music began playing._

_Viola felt her feet leave the soft grass as Duke picked her up and swung her around a couple of times, lowering her and kissing her hard._

"_WOOO!" She screamed in his face when they parted. He laughed at her enthusiasm._

Viola looked over at the box on the bench, double checking her results, and then saw black.

"_I love you so much." He whispered in her ear, his fingers teasing her skin._

_She smiled, kissing him hard, her own fingers tracing the line of his track pants, sliding up underneath his tight shirt and pulling it off. He mimicked her, feeling her hair fall against his arm, tight around her now naked back._

_She separated their lips, stepping away from him, but taking his hands and leading him to the bed which was behind her, falling against it, and feeling him land on top of her._

Olivia's concerned face was what Viola opened her eyes too. "Do you want me to take you to the doctor, about this and the, um?" She asked indicating Viola on the floor, and the stick that was still in Viola's hand.

"_Are you sure?" He breathed against her, watching her stand in front of him, unable to make out her expression because of the darkness._

_She leaned down and kissed him hard. "I've never been more sure of anything." She breathed, lowering her panties, stepping out of them and rejoining him on the bed._

"You have to tell him!" Olivia exclaimed.

"No, I don't. Not when he'll never know." She mumbled turning away and getting a bottle of water from the fridge.

Olivia was shocked. "He's the father isn't he? The least you can do is talk about this all with him."

Viola looked up at her friend. "I'm sorry Olivia, but my dream is to play soccer, not to be a soccer mom."

Olivia could see the tears in her eyes. She shook her head. "I'm sorry, but Vi, I know you too well to know that you want this."

"No I," she paused. "No I don't." She looked away, wiping her face of the tears.

_She moaned, feeling what his touches and kisses were doing to her. "Please!" she breathed against him, wanting to feel just how intense he could make her body feel._

_He smiled kissing her, entering her, causing them both to gasp._

"_Oh my God!" She moaned, pulling his face to hers kissing him hard._

She stared at her phone, opening it and dialing the number, taking a deep, calming breath before hitting the send button. Before she even had a chance to hear the ring tone, she slammed the phone closed, leaning her head on her hand, feeling more tears come.

"It's the summer time, Olivia." She moaned to herself. "I'm here; he's at his home a couple of hours away. He doesn't need this."

_Ever thrust their coupled selves made together felt like pure harmony. This was how she had always expected sex to be. Initially with Justin it had been, but then he started getting lazy, satisfying himself then rolling over and falling asleep. _

_So far, she was excited about hers and Duke's futures together, and was glad that they had made the unconscious decision to wait before succumbing to temptation._

_She knew this may have been one of his first times with a woman, but how he was treating her, listening to the sounds she made, what she said, and how her body reacted to his, it was like he had been with many more._

_Initially her arms had been above her head laying against the bed head, but as she felt the fire within her body gain in heat and intensity, they were moved to Duke's back, her nails digging into his skin and removing small buds._

Sebastian could sense something was up with Viola, just by the way her eyes were gaunt and had lost the spark that he had found himself accustomed to seeing whilst school was on and she was with Duke. Although he knew they hadn't broken up, he also knew that they hadn't spoken a great deal since school finished for the summer.

He watched her from his position on the steps leading to the front door as she lazily kicked her soccer ball into the net. He wasn't used to that. Usually she would be running, skipping, running a mock commentary of herself scoring a goal against anyone.

Something was up, and he needed to know what it was.

_After both finding their release together, they lay content in the other's arms, just breathing. Neither could really believe that after 8 or so months of dating as Seniors, they'd finally actually slept together._

_Viola smiled kissing him lightly. "Wow." She mumbled._

"_Yeah." He agreed. _

_After a few more moments, he rolled off of her, still watching her. She smiled, snuggling into him, feeling him wrap his arms around her, moments later they were both asleep._

----

Remember guys, please review so that I know you're thoughts, otherwise I'll assume you hate it.


	2. Revelations and Wonderings

Okay, any persons who may have been offended by some of the content within the Prologue, this chapter contains none of that, and is thus rated G.

Okay, and I decided to make Duke more able to converse with girls in this fic because of his relationship with Viola.

Remember to R/R

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_**Revelations and Wonderings**_

Viola and Sebastian were packing their things, preparing to begin their lives as College students. Most of the talking that was done came from the ramblings of Sebastian and what he was anticipating to come from traveling to New York to study.

Viola wasn't paying much attention, still too scared to acknowledge, even to her brother, that her dreams of playing professional soccer may have been dashed. She still didn't even know how to tell Duke, or the Sport's department at Carolina.

Still not listening to her brother's ramblings, she left for her own bedroom. Slumping down on the bed, she pulled out her wallet, which had a picture or her and Duke, taken in a booth. She was staring at it, small tears escaping her eyes.

"Vi?" Sebastian had followed her up to her room and was watching her begin to cry staring at her and Duke together.

"I'm such an idiot, Sebastian." She sobbed, looking at her brother, her crying taking over her.

He walked over to her, wrapping his arms around her, surprised by what was happening. Seeing his three minute younger sister crying was an unusual habit. She hadn't even cried about braking up with Justin, not that she'd had much time. "What's going on with you Vi?" He breathed.

After a few sobs she finally spoke. "I'm pregnant." She said against his shoulder.

"What?" He asked stunned, pushing her an arms length away.

"I didn't mean for it to happen." She sobbed, for the first time truly accepting her lot. "It just did." She whispered, wiping her face.

"Well, when?" He asked her quietly, pulling her back into a hug.

"The grand final." She mumbled.

Sebastian was stunned. "That was…"

"Three months ago, I know." Viola moaned.

Stunned was almost an understatement for Sebastian's feelings now. "You've been hiding this for three months?" He asked amazed. "Does Duke know? Mom, Dad? Does anyone?"

Viola looked at him sadly. "Only Olivia." She whispered. Sebastian was confused. "When she came and visited us at the start of the summer, she found me passed out in the bathroom, with a positive test in my hand. She took me to the doctors to get it confirmed."

Sebastian left the bed, disbelieving his sister's ability to keep a secret such as this from him for so long, and astonished Duke didn't know he was going to be a father. "Have you, um, have you decided what you're going to do?" He asked her uncertainly.

"I'm keeping it aren't I?" She responded bemused.

He nodded still confused. "But what about Soccer?" He asked hesitantly.

"I'm preparing to become a soccer mom." She responded absent mindedly, leaving the bed and her room, heading for the bathroom where she promptly locked the door.

Three hours away, Duke was laughing, surrounded by five children under the age of ten, all playing Soccer. Most of his family he hated, particularly most of his younger cousins. However, when his eldest cousin had a baby, he found himself having fun with them, playing soccer, games, and looking after the following four new family members.

Today was that little boy's birthday, and because he was the favorite 'uncle', he'd been invited along, and was now teaching all the kids the fun that the game of soccer was.

"Kick it to me, kick it to me!" Clara, the goalie kept chanting, still not completely realizing what her position meant.

"Clara, remember, you're meant to stop the ball from going into the net." Duke explained to her, laughing slightly.

"Then I don't want to play here!" She responded, running away from the net.

Duke laughed again, realizing that he was now goalie. As his youngest cousin, the four year old Andrew began pushing the ball towards him, Duke noticed his aunt emerging out the front door with a big cake in her hands.

"Cake time!" She called happily, as more children and family members emerged from the house.

Duke laughed at the excitement kids had for cake, watching as the five kids in front of him, forgot the game of soccer being played and raced off up onto the porch.

"Come on Andrew." Duke chuckled, picking him up and fire-man style running with him onto the porch as the young boy laughed excitedly. Placing him at the top of the steps, he backed off, joining the adults on the other side of the table as they all started singing happy birthday.

All the children began squealing with delight as Duke's aunt began cutting up the cake, placing it on paper plates and handing it out to the small army in front of her.

"You're really good with them." One of the neighbours, who was his age, said into his ear.

Duke glanced at her, noting how close she was and stepping away, slightly. "Thanks, Claire, but I have a girlfriend." He commented, taking a plate from his aunt, and taking a seat beside his now ten year old cousin.

Claire smiled, refusing his rejection. "So I hear, but I am yet to see." She smirked, remembering all the times he had pretended to have a girlfriend.

Duke also smiled at her. "Unfortunately, this girl is real, now could you please leave me to eat my cake in peace?" He asked her, taking a large bite as though to emphasize his point.

"By the look of that bite, it won't take you long to finish." She raised an eyebrow, still smiling sweetly and battering her eyelashes.

Duke rolled his eyes, standing hand heading into the house. He glanced at his watch, and decided it was time to head home to finish packing up his things for college.

"Duke, come on. You should be flattered by my interest, not roll your eyes and leave." She spoke behind him.

Duke sighed. "Claire, you're right. I am flattered by your interest, but I am not interested in return. However, I can give you the name of a guy who would be very interested in you." He smirked, thinking of Justin Drayton's face when Illyria beat Cornwall in the Championship game.

"Duke." She whined, following him, a seductive look on her face.

Duke grabbed his bag, slinging it over his shoulder and turning to face Claire. "Where are you going to College?" He asked her simply.

"University of Arizona." She responded.

Duke nodded. "Great choice." He told her simply brushing past her and out the door, not seeing her confused expression.

"I'm off." He announced to the party members, giving his cousin a hug. "Great to see you."

"You too. Come buy whenever you want. Columbia's not too far away." She smiled, greatly accepting his help looking after the kids over the summer.

He laughed. "Yeah, it's only a four hour drive."

She smiled, waving her head in agreement. "Yeah, okay, but seriously, if ever you need a dose of love, we'll be glad to have you." She gave him another hug, before letting him move off to say goodbye to everyone else.

"Are you leaving Uncle Duke?" Toby, the ten year old cousin asked.

"Yeah, Tobes. I have to pack for college life." He smiled, kneeling down so that he was at the little boy's height. He gave the little boy a hug, before finally making it out onto the street, jumping on his bike and disappearing.

Although his drive was only a short one to his own home, the entire way he couldn't help but be plagued with the thoughts he'd been having all summer, why hadn't Viola called him?


	3. There's something I need to tell you

_Hey guys. Thanks for all the positive reviews. I'm really glad you're all enjoying my idea. I just hope I can keep you entertained._

_Just a little note. I find it incredibly difficult to keep an idea on ice. Currently I have over 15 fanfics in the works, from various movies and TV shows. (not all of them have been posted here however.) So, in order to combat this predicament, please expect delays between updates so that I can write. And also, I have a habit of being slightly da Vinci-like (not in being a genius, but in not completing things). This is more because I meet writers block a lot, so if I haven't updated this for a couple of months, that's probably why. And all I can say in that situation is just keep hoping I'll find inspiration to complete the story._

_Okay, so I have nothing else to say, other than enjoy this Chapter._

_----_

_**There's something I need to tell you**_

Viola couldn't think straight as the car pulled up outside of Duke's home. She knew he wasn't expecting her, but she also knew that she wanted him to know the truth before the school year got underway. She just hoped that he hadn't left yet.

"Sure you don't need us?" Olivia asked from the back seat, Sebastian driving.

Viola looked out the window at the large house that showed once again just how similar she and Duke were.

"Thanks guys, but this is something I have to do on my own." She sighed, opening the door.

As she got out of the car, she noticed Duke's motor bike leaning against the side wall of the house. This only intensified her rapid heart beat to the point where she felt as though she was at a rock concert.

"Do you need a hand with your bags?" Sebastian asked stepping out of the car.

Viola smiled. "Seriously, I have two, and guys, really, thanks for everything you've done for me but I need to do this myself." She walked to the boot, watching as it snapped open and began retrieving the two large bags filled with her things, although most of her clothes she was certain wouldn't fit her by the end of the year.

The sound of a door swinging shut caused Viola to look up at the house, to see a woman very similarly dressed to her own mother. _Please let her be a _normal _mom, _Viola thought to herself.

"Mom, I do not need a lift to school, I can make my own way there." Duke appeared shortly behind his mother, neither of them noticing the car parked in the street.

Viola's breath caught in her throat at the sight of her boyfriend, who looked as though he had been working out, a lot, over the summer break.

"I know, sweet heart, but I just want to see you off well." His mother responded sweetly.

Duke sighed, turning around, facing the street, noticing the car that his girlfriend was uncomfortably standing in front of. "Viola?" He exclaimed, stepping down, jogging up to her and giving her a hug.

"Hi." She breathed quietly, allowing herself to be enveloped by her huge boyfriend.

"It's been too long." He breathed, still holding her. "And now you have to tell me why you're here. I thought we were meeting up at school?" He looked up at the car still parked in the street, and briefly smiled and waved at Sebastian and Olivia who were beginning to drive away.

Viola didn't realise that her brother and best friend were both gone until she noticed the empty space when she glanced over her shoulder. This only emphasized the fact that she had to tell him.

"I really need to talk to you." She said in a tone that gave him a slightly down look. "No, no, no, I don't want to talk to you about us, well it is about us, but not about us ending anything." She enforced. "But, somewhere quiet." She whispered, noticing his mother who was watching the two of them confused.

"Oh, Mom, this is Viola Hastings." Duke guided Viola up to the house, whilst making the introductions.

It was like a horrid dream for Viola, who suddenly watched as this woman's face turned into a replica of her own mother's.

"Ah, so this is the lady my son's had me dieing to meet." She held out her arms rushing towards them both.

As though it was perfect timing, Viola felt her stomach lurch. "Can I use your bathroom? It's really urgent." She swallowed hard, feeling Duke's hand in her own, leading her into the house.

After he pointed the way down the hall, she dropped her bags and sprinted, just reaching the sink in time for her breakfast's escape.

"Vi, are you okay?" She heard Duke's voice from outside the bathroom.

She rinsed her mouth out, washing the remaining vomit down the sink, before emerging from the room. Looking under Duke's arm, which was resting on the wall, she noticed his mother, obviously eavesdropping, and trying incredibly hard to look like she wasn't.

"Can we talk in your room?" She asked him quietly.

"Sure." He nodded, once again leading the way.

Duke's room was almost a replica of the dorm room he shared with Sebastian, except that it was bigger and featured a double bed instead of two singles. Posters for various soccer players and bands lined the walls, whilst two desks featured his computer, TV, play station and numerous other technological equipment she wasn't aware of. She noticed he had placed her bags beside his own at the door.

"What do you want to talk about?" He asked, taking both her hands and leading her to the bed, sitting down and taking her to sit beside him.

Viola was off in a day dream. The past year was just rolling through her head, almost like a lullaby. Every soccer game, every moment, every kiss, every touch they had shared; that fateful night together, followed by three months of anxiety he didn't know about.

"Viola?" She heard Duke's voice, breaking her out of her reverie.

She smiled sadly. "This is really hard for me to say, so I'm just going to come out with it." She took a deep breath, bracing herself, whilst not seeing him prepare for the worst. "I'm pregnant." She whispered so quietly she barely heard herself, but seeing his face, his reaction, she knew he had heard it.

"I know it's unexpected, and I know that it's going to throw a dent into our lives, especially mine, but, I just couldn't give it up, especially not without telling you first; but I just couldn't tell you over the phone, or online." She mumbled looking away from him. "My parents don't even know." She continued. "Sebastian found out a couple of days ago, and before that only Olivia knew." She explained, beginning to hate herself for not having this conversation with him sooner.

"Wait, how does Olivia know about this?" Duke had been in complete shock, registering what Viola was telling him, but not really listening.

"A couple of weeks after school finished, she came and visited us. She found me passed out in the bathroom, with the test in my hand. She took me to the doctor to get it confirmed. She'll kill me when she finds out I'm only telling you now." She almost laughed as she spoke.

Duke was still silent.

"Duke, please, talk to me?" Viola felt panic at his constant silence.

"You know, I'm surprised I'm not mad by this." Was all that he said, standing and leaving Viola sitting alone on the bed, as he disappeared out of the room.

She was alone for a few moments, almost certain that he hated her now, for being pregnant, and for hiding it from him for so long. She was about to reach for the phone beside his bed when she heard him re-enter the room, with a large tub of ice-cream in hand.

"Two of my older cousins have had kids in the last couple of years that I've been involved with, and both of them have told me, whenever I'm having kids, give me wife or girlfriend a lot of ice-cream." He smiled, handing her the tub and a spoon, and taking a seat beside her.

She smiled. "Does this mean you're okay with this?" She asked quietly, removing the lid.

He looked at her, stroking the back of her head and hair. "I am." He whispered, leaning towards her and kissing her forehead. "Now feast." He took the spoon from her hand, collected some of the cookies and cream ice-cream and held it up to her mouth, making an airplane noise at the same time, which only made them both laugh.


	4. New School, New Friend's, New Coach

_Okay, so first of all, I'm sorry for this very extensive delay. Honestly I had not planned it. Secondly, thanks to all of you who posted reviews on my first few chapters, it truly means something to my wounded ego (it's a long story we wont go into)._

_Anyway, I won't hold out much longer (even though most of you have skipped all this and are now, probably into Paragraph 2 of this.)_

_------_

**New School, New Friends, New Coach**

Viola stood in her new dorm room her bags at her feet, taking in the knowledge that she had this room all to herself. At least she now had no-one to question her about her stomach's volatile temperament, or her certain weight gain, when she knew she would be eating somewhat healthily.

Leaving her bags where she had dropped them, she opened the file she'd been given upon arrival, reading up about the text books she'd need, along with when tryouts for all school teams would be on. She sat down on the bed reading and flipping pages, her hand unconsciously moving to her belly.

Her page flipping had landed on the soccer section of the Sports guide. Viola stared at the small picture of last year's girl's team celebrating a goal and felt sadness rise, knowing that this year would pass and by the end of it, a new member of the Hastings and Orsino families would be in existence.

She was certain she was going to begin crying again when there was a knock at her door, and a girl's face appeared. "Sorry, but your door was open." She smiled apologetically.

"It's okay. Come on in. I'm Viola." Viola smiled, wiping her eyes.

The girl smiled, taking an awkward step forwards. "Thanks. I'm Cassie, I'm your neighbor and I've been assigned to be your buddy."

Viola looked at Cassie strangely. "Buddy?"

Cassie blushed weakly. "Yeah, it's just a little thing the sophomore's here do for the freshman. Usually we're paired up according to what we're studying, but because you're here on a Soccer Scholarship, and since I came here on a Soccer Scholarship as well last year, we've been paired up." The two girls smiled awkwardly at each other, Viola was the first to look away.

"You wouldn't mind showing me around the Soccer department would you? I have a couple of final things I need to discuss with the staff and coaches." Viola asked, placing the guide book on the bed beside her.

Cassie smiled and nodded, holding her arm out. "One of the reason's I'm here."

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The soccer department, as with all other sporting departments, was located in the large sports complex. Viola stood beside Cassie on the fourth floor hallway, looking out at the field that doubled as the football and soccer pitches. Already the football squad was out throwing the ball and practicing.

"Viola, are you coming?" Cassie called to her.

Viola looked around stunned. "Oh, yeah, sure, sorry." She apologized reaching her.

Neither girl spoke as they headed down the long hallway, until the posters changed from Lacrosse stars, to Soccer stars.

"Here we are." Cassie announced, showing Viola a large office behind a group of windows. "All planning, organizing, promoting and living of Soccer is held behind these windows." Cassie explained. "All coaches and support staff have their offices around the corner." She went on, pointing to a series of doors leading off from the main office set-up.

"I never really thought that the admin would be together with the coaches, and all that." Viola suddenly felt as though she was a gawking teenager with no concept of sentence structure, probably because she was still trying to get over the size of it.

"It's how things are done here, keeps everything organized and together." Cassie smiled at her. "There are some plans for redevelopment of the entire building, which puts the coaches and support staff's offices on one of the lower floors, but not a lot is happening on that front." The two exchanged a small smile, before Cassie held her arm in the direction of the door. "Shall we?"

Viola was still trying to get over the size. The main office was just like one from any other office building. There were phones ringing, people rushing around, a TV blaring somewhere and people cheering, a game Viola discovered to be the European FA Cup final. "Did I mention," Cassie whispered in her ear. "Most of the people here refuse to acknowledge ignorance. It is always Football whenever you're in here or around Coaching staff, never Soccer. People have been kept on the bench for extensive periods as punishment." Viola was a little stunned, but when she was introduced to the coaching staff, hearing the Head boy's coach was both English, and a champion player from Liverpool, along with many other members of the coaching staff, she understood.

After the introductions to her coaches, Eliza Ramsford, Casey Williams and David Thewlis, and the girl's team physio, Kylie Thewlis (sister to David) she managed to find herself alone in Head Coach, Eliza's office, finally.

"Now, Ms Hastings," Coach Ramsford began.

"Please Viola." Viola requested, receiving a stern look from the woman.

"Viola," she smiled through slightly gritted teeth. "What was it that you requested to speak to me about?" She said in a tone that made the skin on Viola's neck prickle. She hadn't been in this woman's company for more than a minute, and already she hated her.

Viola tried not to look away, but found it impossible. "Recently I discovered that I'm pregnant." She finally managed to say. Coach Ramsford sat down slowly behind her desk, listening. "My main aim, today, was to inform you and the department in general of this fact, to avoid having to do so at training in front of a lot of girl's whom I don't know and will judge me negatively because of it."

"How far are you?" Coach Ramsford asked after a pause.

Viola swallowed. "I believe I'm 15 weeks." Viola watched as the woman's eyes went mad.

"15 weeks and you didn't bother to call the school?" She rose from her chair, a cold countenance coming across.

"I'm sorry, but telling my boyfriend was my priority over the summer, and that was difficult as we live a long distance from each other, and I didn't want to tell him over the phone." Viola felt as though she was going to begin crying.

"So what are you're plans? Obviously you want do not want this child or you would not be on campus." Viola was stunned.

"Actually I do want this child, and I came here to discus my options!" Viola exclaimed, before biting her lip realizing, although she was angry, she couldn't shout at her coach. "I thought I could,"

"You thought what?" Coach Ramsford seemed to jump from her seat, her voice level high, almost shouting. "You thought that you could come here, cost someone else a place in this program whilst you studied and became a mommy?" Her tone made Viola sick, and succeeded in making her feel ashamed.

"I'm sorry Ms. Hastings, but," she caught herself before continuing. "You will have to speak with the School administration, the Dean, the principle, everyone before I say something that will cost me my job." She had her back turned to Viola during the last of her speech and hadn't noticed the pained look on Viola's face as she held her abdomen, pain beginning to ooze throughout her body.

"Please, Coach Ramsford, get a doctor." Viola moaned, fear hitting her like a train. "And Duke!" She added, almost as an after thought. "Get Duke Orsino, he's here, on campus."

Coach Ramsford raced from the room, leaving Viola, now on the floor, clutching her body, petrified by one thought: she was losing her baby.

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_A/N: eh, eh, eh, I enjoy being evil_


	5. I'm Sorry

Wow! I knew you guys liked this story but I didn't quite realise how many of you did! Thank you all for reviewing and adding my story to your alerts, it's inspired me to update this story MUCH sooner than the three or so months between updates last time.

Just a note, in this chapter, most of the Italics are some lyrics from a song by Delta Goodrem, _Lost Without You._

**------**

**I'm Sorry**

_I know I can be a little stubborn sometimes  
A little righteous and too proud  
I just want to find a way to compromise  
Coz I believe that we can work things out_

Viola lay in a hospital bed, shifting her eyes from the blank ceiling to the bleak sheets that covered her body. Every so often, a silent tear rolled down her face, but her body was too numb to notice them, thus streaks of wetness stained her face.

She felt inadequate, worthless, unfeminine in her numb pain. Her hands were cradled around her belly which would now never expand as she had unwittingly found herself excited about.

_But baby since you've gone I admit that I was wrong_

"_I'm sorry Ms. Hastings but you're miscarrying." _The voice of the paramedic rang in her ears.

Apart from the physical pain of losing something that she had unknowingly become excited about, the emotional pain was the worst thing she had ever encountered.

_All I know is I'm lost without you_

"Viola?" She heard Duke's voice as he quietly entered the room.

"_I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry." _She had cried against him after the nurses had cleaned her up.

She heard him approach her, sitting on the bed beside her, cradling the side of her face in her hand. She rolled her head into his touch, her tears beginning to flow again, and in earnest.

_You're the only thing that's on my mind_

_I'm lost without you_

He pulled her up, so that she was leaning against him, rubbing her back soothingly and whispering in her ear.

_How am I going to be strong without you  
I'm lost without you_

"I'm so sorry Duke." She cried again as he held her body against his.

He continued to rub her back and whisper soothing words into her ears. After a while, her tears subsided but she continued to clutch him, afraid that he would melt away if she let go of him.

"Coach Ramsford is really upset that she may have caused this to happen." He admitted weakly. "Personally I don't blame her. God has His plan for everyone, we can't fight it, no matter how sad that plan may be." He sighed.

Viola released him weakly and lay back against the uncomfortable bed. "It just hurts that's all." She whispered.

"I know it does baby." He responded, brushing her hair from her face and sliding his thumb backwards and forwards gently against her cheek. "The coaching staff, with permission from school, has permitted you to begin classes later, and their holding a place for you in the team," he paused watching her eyes, "if you still want it that is?"

She smiled at him weakly, but he could see the sadness that was etched deep in her eyes, and would most likely remain there. "You can thank them then, and I still want that place." She tried to sound genuine, and probably to those who didn't know her, she sounded genuine. But Duke knew her too well, at least he thought he did, and could hear something that he wasn't accustomed too.

A silence covered them as they just enjoyed each other's presence in recovering from their recent sadness. A commotion outside caused them both to look towards the door.

"Oh no!" Viola moaned, recognizing the voices as her parents, which meant they knew. "Did I mention my mom and dad don't know about this?" She said, and as Duke opened his mouth to respond the door was thrown wide open and Viola's mother was revealed, her face dark red.

"You have a lot of explaining to do!" She said in the most serious voice she could muster, but it still sounded like a squeak.


	6. Discovery

_Hi guy's, sorry for the delay between chapters. My creative nous hasn't been working very favorable with this story which has been a little annoying, but I have good news (well for those who want this story to go on and on and on), but I'm pretty sure that I don't have that many more chapters to go before I finish this story. Don't ask me to give you a number, but I wouldn't say anymore than five more chapters._

_Other than that, on with the story!_

--§--

**Discovery**

Four months later and Viola was forcing herself to enact a life she had always wanted. She looked up into the stands and saw Duke sitting with Paul, Kia, Yvonne, Sebastian and Olivia who had traveled up from New York specifically for this match. They were joined by some of Duke's new team-mates, Ashton Smart and Jason Cowlan. They were all cheering for her, although she didn't feel especially moved by their support.

She didn't know what had happened to her, but she knew that she had changed the moment she was told she was miscarrying. It was as though her dreams had been exchanged with someone else, and she wanted to find that person because she believed she had something that didn't belong to her.

She was so grateful for Duke. Ever since the miscarriage, he'd been her rock, always there whenever she needed a hug, and the only person who knew how empty soccer was beginning to feel for her. And looking up into the stand she could see that he was the only person who wasn't cheering as strongly as everyone else. She pressed a kiss to her fingertips and blew it up to him before smiling and resuming her attention to the soccer game she was participating in.

Telling her mother about the baby was a menace. She hadn't stopped shrieking and rambling how ungrateful Duke was for destroying her precious daughter's hopes. Sebastian arriving had been Viola's happiest moment of that day. Somehow he had managed to drag their mother out of the room and promptly gave her a talking too.

The match seemed to pass without Viola feeling good about it. She felt more like a spectator than a participant. She felt a hand on her shoulder and saw Cassie standing beside her. It was at this point Viola realized she'd been standing dumb in the locker-room.

"You okay?" Her new friend asked her, pulling her hair back into a pony-tail.

Viola shrugged. "I will be." She smiled weakly, looking away and rummaging through her bag.

"Look, Viola, I'm not going to pretend I know you that well, but I do want you too know, that whilst I may not have any advice to offer you, I do listen. My dad tells me to pride myself on my listening abilities." She jokingly puffed out her chest, chuckling weakly.

Viola attempted a smile, and somehow it appeared more like a smile than a grimace. "Thanks Cassie." Cassie smiled at her before bidding her goodbye and leaving the dressing room, and Viola alone.

Viola looked around the room, at the smell of soccer and sweat. She was yet to shower, having just stood still as everyone else had, and now everyone was gone. She was sitting on the bench when she felt tears come to her eyes. After a few minutes she felt a hand on her shoulder and looked up to see Duke standing over her. He didn't even to ask what she was crying about because she did it all too often for him to question. He sat down on the bench beside her and gave her a hug.

"Take me home." She whispered as he held her.

He released her, but kept his hands on her face, watching her eyes. "Sure."

----

They headed back to Viola's dorm in silence, Duke carrying her bags as Viola thought about what had happened that day. She had loved playing soccer, and when she was told by doctors that she could begin training, she threw herself in hard, but after today, the first game, she felt nothing but confusion.

For so long she had wanted nothing more but to be a famous soccer star, representing her country at World Cups, and beating rival nations. But ever since the baby, she was completely confused.

In her room she maintained her silence, disappearing into the small bathroom and taking a shower, not noticing the disappointed sigh that escaped Duke's lips.

The hot water covered her body and brought a stinging realization into Viola's head. When she was finished, wrapped only in a towel, she ventured back into her room and over to Duke who was sitting on her bed, glancing through one of her books. He looked up as she sat down on the bed, and she immediately kissed him, pressing her body against him and yearning to feel the emotions he had brought within her six or so months earlier.

Duke realized she wasn't paying attention to her towel as she leaned closer into him, and as he felt both her hands sliding under his shirt. He also realized what she wanted as he felt his shirt being lifted.

"Viola." He pulled away from her, watching her face. "We can't do this." He breathed, and immediately he regretted it, as he watched her face fall, and a moment later she was moving away from him, crying. "Viola please, I don't want to hurt you." He sighed as she pulled a t-shirt on over her head.

"Please Duke. You just don't want to make me do something you think I'll regret." She retorted bitterly.

Duke didn't respond knowing that she was right.

"I'm sorry, Duke, but I wanted that baby, and now that it's gone I don't know what I want." She sighed. "Actually that's not true, I've realized what I want, but I," she stopped looking at the ground. "I wanted that baby Duke. You know that. I want it back, that feeling that there's something there, something important." She pointed to her stomach and Duke swallowed.

"Vi, we can try again." He breathed standing up in front of her.

She looked up at him, her eyes sparkling from the tears. "I know we can, but you don't realise it. I want to have a baby, more than I ever wanted to play soccer." Duke was now the one confused.

He nodded at her. "Can you let me think about this? Have you thought about this." He asked her. Viola looked away. "Please Vi, at least let's both think about this properly, and then try when we're both ready?"

Viola looked up at him, pain crossing her face. "I'm ready Duke, and I've been ready for a long time." She stated defiantly.

Duke nodded weakly. "Like I said, can you let me think about this?" He held her upper arms as he asked.

Viola nodded weakly and Duke left the room, and leaving her to sit down on her bed. She didn't know how long she could wait, all she knew was she wanted a baby, and if Duke didn't want to be a part of that, she would find someone else who would.


	7. Fear

_Sorry for all the delays. Moving into University life is difficult at first. Hopefully i can update this at least once a week from here on in._

**Fear**

Viola didn't realize what had happened between her and Duke. The moment he had left her room, she had lain on her bed, staring at the ceiling, and was certain that they had broken up. But at the same time, he hadn't said they were over, only that he needed to think, which was still a bad thing.

After her bed got boring, she moved to the bench looking out the window, and stared down at the darkening grounds of USC. Her life wasn't making any sense. She knew she wanted to have a baby, she knew that without a thought, and she knew that she wanted Duke to be a part of that, but she had seen that look in his eye when she had demanded a child. It was the type of look that she was certain many women saw in their respective partners at one point, that look of definitive "no."

But she could only wait for him and his answer.

She had been sitting for hours; the grounds were now only lit up by the scattered lights, and her room behind her was pitch black. Without changing, she moved to her bed, kicked off her shoes, positioned herself under the covers, and fell into a restless sleep.

When she awoke that morning, her dreams and unconscious hadn't seemed to help her. She was still as confused as she had been the night before, if not more so.

Glancing at her clock, she didn't care that she had a soccer meeting in five minutes, or that she could be suspended from playing if she missed it. Instead, she slumped into the shower, but after stripping, and turning on the water, she just sat on the small ledge of the bath, the hot water cascading down. She wanted so much for Duke to say yes; for she missed the intimacy level they had shared during the final few weeks of school the year before.

When school had finished, she was almost certain she wouldn't be able to spend almost four months separated from him, and for those few days before she moved out of the dorms, fixed herself to his bedroom (and his bed), and as much as possible, to him.

_  
They were lying together, not talking, just holding each other. There were many things Duke loved touching: the trophy the team had beaten Cornwall to win, the touch of silk, mud between his toes, snowflakes melting on his fingers, but above all, the skin of his girlfriend when she was pressed to him, right after making love._

_Viola, likewise loved feeling their bodies pressed together, they felt perfect together; yin and yang. But what she really loved, especially now, was the feeling his body made hers feel when he was deep inside her. _

_Just the thought of it turned her on (and since their first time together two weeks earlier, she had been thinking about it a lot...especially during some of her boring classes). And right now was no exception._

_But for the time being, she was simply enjoying the feeling of their bodies lined together. Sex could hold off for the moment, as right now was perfect._

"_Duke?" She whispered as one of his hands began tickling the skin below her naval. "What are we going to do for the next three months?"_

"_The phone." He responded, causing her body to tremble and smiling._

"_I'm serious!" Viola countered giggling. "We're going to be separated for the next three months and my parents won't let me drive their cars, and Sebastian is not going to drive me the four hours to you, just because I'm feeling horny." Immediately Duke stopped touching her. "I didn't tell you to stop." Viola sighed as her boyfriend shifted away from her._

"_I'm hurt." She heard his voice, feigning hurt and could only smile to herself. "You only see me as a piece of meat." _

_Viola rolled her eyes. "You know what I mean. Whenever I want to see you, no matter how much I miss you, I have no way of getting to you, a) because Sebastian will be spending all his time with Olivia and his band, and Mom and Dad will be spending all their time rekindling their marriage, which is kind of gross." She turned up her nose. "And not to mention you have all your cousins and such to look after." She moaned._

_Duke rolled over so that he was facing her. "Like I said, there's the phone so we can keep in touch, and a little invention called the internet." He sat up and kissed her nose. "We'll be fine, and think of it this way, when we see each other next year; we're going to be very happy." He lowered his voice and his face so his eyes were locking into hers, whilst rubbing her nose with his own._

"_Yeah." She breathed, feeling him pull her down atop him, his hands wandering down to her butt._

And maybe, when they had met up before they went on to College, they had been very happy making up, but this pain in her gut was too much.

She needed to know whether he was going to be a figure in her future life, and the frustration of not knowing was gnawing away at her heart.

---

_Remember to review!_


	8. Strangely Twisted

_Okay, so I have reached the final chapter. Thanks to all those who have read and reviewed. I do have an epilogue coming, but you're just going to have to wait another week for that :P_

****

**Strangely Twisted**

Viola had seen Duke twice since she had delivered, to him, her ultimatum. Those two occasions not a lot had been said, not a lot had been done. They'd exchanged the usual pleasantries, "how are you," etc, etc, and both of them felt as though they'd broken up, and it was that thought that was eating away at Viola.

She had one picture of her lost baby, and most days she was in her room were spent staring at it, fingering the slightly fuzzy image of what had been a three and a half old fetus. One night, the thought she had broken up with Duke was eating her up so badly that she fell asleep crying, clutching the image.

So, a week after Duke told her he needed to think, Viola was preparing herself for the worst when he stood before her in her doorway.

"Can I come in?" He asked fearfully.

Viola was too petrified of what he might say to her that she couldn't smile as she stepped aside. As he wandered around her room, rubbing his hands together, and returning to his old ways of talking badly to girls, Viola only became more worried.

"I should have talked to you sooner." He started by saying, sitting down at her desk and motioning for her to sit on her bed, as she was still standing defensively by the door.

Albeit reluctantly, she stepped past him, her knees brushing his as she sat down on the bed.

"I'm not ready to be a dad Vi, that's the first thing I want to say." Viola's heart plummeted hearing those words.

"What else needs to be said?" She questioned, strong tears forming.

"Would you let me finish?" He demanded, surprising her.

Viola looked up at him, rubbing the tears away. What was the point in him continuing to talk when he'd just basically said that he didn't want kids?

"I'm not ready to be a Dad, but when you told me you were pregnant, there was no way I was going to leave you alone. I know how much you wanted that baby, and how much you want another one, and Vi, even if I'm not ready personally, with you, I'm always going to be." He smiled at her.

Viola's eyes were wide. "Are you saying, in a strange and twisted way, yes?" She wriggled close to him. As he had been speaking she'd slowly begun to realize that he wasn't saying no, but was saying yes.

Duke nodded. "Yeah. But can we just take it slowly? I mean, I want to be with you, sure, but can we enjoy being a couple again before we try properly?" He rested his hands on her knees.

Viola looked down at them, then to his face, smiling weakly. "I think we can." She leaned close and kissed him.

After a few moments she pulled away, but they just stared into each others eyes. Duke saw a spark enter hers and a moment later she had pulled them onto the bed behind her, him on top of her.

This moment, it wasn't about sex – at least not yet. It was about remembering their relationship, how they had been before sex and pregnancy came into their lives. Viola, yes she was moving her hands underneath his as usual, incredibly tight t-shirt, but she was moving them around him, holding him to her as their lips and tongues dueled together.

As the moments wore longer, Viola realized that it hadn't just been the sex she had missed; it was just being with him. Sure they'd made out since she'd been pregnant, but it hadn't been the same.

They clung together as their lips moved, teasing the other. The seconds turned into minutes, and the minutes turned into over an hour. They had done nothing more than make out on the small bed. Their lips were swollen when Duke finally pulled away, resting his head on her chest. Viola caressed her fingers through his short hair, and after a few moments they fell asleep, the happiest they had been together in a long time.

---

_Remember to Review!_


	9. Epilogue

_Okay so i lied at the start of the last chapter. **THIS **is the final chapter. Again, thanks to all who have posted reviews and kept me going. For those who enjoyed my story, and want me to start another, give me some time. I'm going to take a break for a little while, finish all other stories i have up and going, and see what happens from there._

_Again, thanks to all those who have enjoyed this story._

**Epilogue**

For some strange reason, Viola and Duke had held off on having kids during college. Neither of them knew how, especially after the promise they had made each other. Having said that, it wasn't like they hadn't _not _tried, quite the opposite. But it hadn't happened, and although Viola was so wanting of kids, her studying had seemed to equal out.

But then graduation came, and two great surprises happened. The first came in the morning after Viola felt like fainting. After returning from the drug store, eight tests showed the same result: she was pregnant.

She had waited until the following day to tell Duke, and when she had told him he swung her around with excitement. Then he dropped her to her feet, and she watched in apprehension as he dropped to his knees before her.

The brilliant amethyst colored sapphire sparkling up at her, surrounded by small white diamonds, resting on a thin silver band answered her question. She hadn't even bothered to wait for him to ask, she had flung her arms around his neck, squealing "yes, yes, yes!" He had laughed, asking the question as he slid the ring onto her finger.

Three months later they were married, with Viola just showing, but she didn't care that her stomach looked slightly larger than normal, because she was marrying a wonderful man, and carrying his child.

When their son was born, everything was amazing. Instinctively Olivia and Paul were named god-parents, with little Joshua Sebastian Orsino receiving more attention than he had ever received in his short life.

Now, almost eight years later, Viola had become something she had at one stage been certain she would never become: a soccer mom.

Joshua had taken to soccer like a fish to water, and Viola couldn't be happier. She knew she could never force him to play or train, especially not when little Gracie demanded so much of her mother's time.

"Okay, guys, I have oranges!" Viola called walking out onto the pitch at half time. It was her son's big game, the final in the under 9's competition, and Viola was team manager.

Oranges were a hit, always attracting the kids' attention, and giving a few moments of silence as they all ate and thus allowing the coach to speak.

Duke was standing at the fence, Gracie on his hip, pointing to the group. Viola smiled and waved to him, before turning back to the hoard of children surrounding her.

"Josh, listen to Andrew!" She quietly chided her son who was ignoring his coach's words.

A persistent ankle injury had ended Andrew's career, not that he was too depressed about it. He had taken to little league coaching in a similar way that Joshua had taken to the game his parents loved.

The siren sounded indicating the game to begin again, and Viola waddled to the bench in front of where Duke was standing with Grace. She couldn't help but laughing as she saw three teenage girls approach him awestruck.

Whilst Viola had ended her professional soccer career before it truly began, Duke had continued playing, and seemed to have one of the biggest group of fans, mostly consisting of teenage girls. Viola didn't mind, especially when Duke was paying more attention to his three year old daughter than the game being played.

One of the girls asked for a photograph, and Duke obliged, then signing a couple of photos for the girls who walked away giggling with excitement.

"Stop taking attention away from my game." Andrew mocked Duke, who was still getting used to people recognizing him, even though he'd been in the public eye for over six years.

Duke groaned. "They love me, they don't love me." He chuckled to his daughter he poked him lightly in the arm.

"I love daddy." She smiled, and Duke laughed.

"That's all that matters, munchkin." He placed a kiss on his daughter's forehead.

Viola watched the scene with joy. In three and a half months she was set to bring twins into the world, and after that, she and Duke had agreed to have no more. One kid was hard, two was difficult, and Viola's dad had assured her that having four little Orsino's was going to be a nightmare.

So Viola sat back and watched the game, cheering on the team, and even though they lost, at home that night, everything was wonderful. She had an amazing husband, two wonderful children, and in three months that number would be doubling.

Viola fell asleep that night quite content with her life. She didn't care she wasn't playing soccer anymore, the game didn't matter. She didn't care that her stomach was no longer perfectly flat, or that her thighs were closer together. She was a mother, and a wonderful one at that (going by Duke), and would never swap that for the game that had held her interest since the age of five.

That summer, so many years previously had changed her life dream for the better. Whoever was writing her life story had made a good move with that.

**Fin**


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